Kill Caustic
by love.strawberries
Summary: COMPLETE [1x2, rating just in case, AU] It all comes down to mistakes. It's driving them apart, maybe too far to salvage anything.
1. Duo

**Disclaimer- I do not own Gundam wing. **

**A/N- I'm starting a kinda chapter fic, and this is the first chapter. Obviously. Thing is, I can't think of a title. I need help with that.**

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**Duo**

I wanted him to stay with me… forever. If this was the only way I could get him to stay with me, I was willing to try.

"Heero… I'm having your baby."

I've never seen so much expression on his face before.

He turns to me and snarls. "You're not a woman, damnit. You can't have children."

"Wanna bet?"

"You're an idiot. If you think anything you say can possible make me stay, then you're wrong. I won't stay here, even with you."

I think my heart broke with his words. "Don't… don't you wanna be with me anymore?"

"No, not if it means I have to stay here in this shithole for the rest of my life."

"I thought… you said it didn't matter, that we just needed each other… didn't you mean it?"

"I meant it then, before I realized how much of a bother it is. I love you Duo, but not this much."

And then he left, never looking back. He held a suitcase in his hand and my heart in the other.

I still wait for him. Everyday. Hoping that he'll realize it was all just a mistake, that with me is where he's supposed to be.

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This is going to be a series of short little ficlets. I'm still not sure where the idea for this came up, but it came. Oh, and I can't think of a good title for this. I know it's kinda too early, but if any of you is hit with an idea for this thing, please tell me! 


	2. Heero

**Disclaimer- I do not own Gundam wing.**

**A/N- I've decided, each of these ficlets are gonna be about a page long. So, it won't be very long.**

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**Heero**

I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life a few years ago. I blew up at the person I loved, and still love, more than life.

We'd been living in a not so perfect house in a not so perfect neighborhood. He'd been trying to make things work for us, as had I. He would wake up every morning with a smile on his face and a kiss. At first, to me, that was enough.

But then, as days, months, years went by like this… it got to be too much. I hated that I couldn't buy him the things he deserved and couldn't take him to the places he wanted to visit. All we could do was work, work, work, and pray that someday we would have enough to finally spend time together.

But it never did. In fact, it seemed to grow worse. The bills piled up. I tried to keep a happy face, tried to stay optimistic, but I just couldn't.

I know it seems like I'm whining, or trying to redeem myself, but I'm not. I'm just trying to tell you why I'm sitting here alone, with a beer in one hand and a gun in the other.

I bought the gun a few years ago. I never thought I would use it in anyway, but as the days go by, it's starting to look more and more beautiful to me.

I really can't live with myself. I'm a pathetic thing. God, I wish I could see him again. Just once again.

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Another chapter to the Heero/duo saga! Hope you enjoyed! 


	3. Duo

**Disclaimer- I do not own GW. If I did… well, let's just say that then it wouldn't be allowed on TV…**

**A/N- Nobody reviewed my pther chapters except for Ak1-chan and xWhitexStaRx! Oh well...**

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**Duo**

I want to see him again. It's like a dream, a nightmare without him here. It's been forever to me. Even with all the words he said, all the pain he caused me… I think of him every night, every day, every moment I'm not working…

I wonder everytime I eat, does he get enough food? I wonder everytime I get dressed, does he have clothes that fit him? I wonder everytime I get into bed, is he sleeping in something warm?

I'm obsessed and desperate. I want nothing more then to have him here, in my arms, to hold, to kiss.

The days seem endless…just a parade of the same continuous thoughts.

I tried to date again… it was a horrible sight. I couldn't be myself, I couldn't open up… which is saying a lot, 'cause I'm probably the social king.

But no matter who I went out with (I even tried women), they all seemed to be missing something.

Their eyes wouldn't be blue enough, their hair wouldn't be messy enough, they wouldn't be quiet enough…

I know there'll never be anyone as perfect as him, but it doesn't stop me from looking.

Even now, I look for him. After all these years, his is the face that I look for in every crowd, his is the glare that I look for when I know I've done something wrong, his is the smile I look for when I come home.

I keep repeating myself, but it's hard not to. Could you do any better when pining for the one you love?

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There, another chapter. Please, review! 


	4. Heero

**Disclaimer- I do not own GW or it's characters. **

A/N- No one's reading this… But I update it anyways!

**Special thanks to my Beta!Star. (That's your new nickname from me!)

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Heero**

My god… I saw him today… I'm still in shock…

I didn't even realize we were in the same country, let alone the same city.

But I swear it was him, walking down the street, braid swinging in the wind, and violet eyes blazing…

I wanted to throw myself down at his feet and beg for forgiveness. I wanted to grab him and kiss him. I wanted him to love me…

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Hope y'all liked, please review!


	5. Duo

**Disclaimer- I do not own GW. **

A/N- new chappie!

**I love Beta!Star!**

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Duo**

I saw Heero today… my heart is still pounding.

I know he saw me. I know he did.

I wanted to run to him. I had to hold myself back so hard. There would've been nothing I liked better then to have him in my arms once again.

We're like characters in a romance novel, filled with angst, drama, and longing. In a way, it's hilarious. But then again, since it's my life we're talking about, it's not too funny. Maybe later on, I'll laugh at this. I hope.

And I've just decided, I'm about to do something really crazy. I'm gonna try and find him. God, I must be what they call a sucker for punishment.

He's probably involved, having a great ol' life with lots of money and a beautiful guy (or girl) hanging on to him and worshipping him.

Like I had done.

I'm going to find him and… and… aw, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. Probably fall to my knees and beg him to take me back. And all the while, he'll be staring at me with that cold look of his, comparing me to an insect. But, because I'm a twisted freak, I'll probably just be glad that he's looking at me at all.

I am seriously not right in the head.

I have no idea how I'll find him, but I will. Maybe… maybe he won't be mad at me anymore.

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So, the next part of the…. whatever this is called. Not really sure where all this is going. Will think on it. Please, read and review!

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	6. Heero

**Disclaimer- I do not own Gundam Wing. –tear- **

A/N- Thanks to all who reviewed, I hope you like this next part!

**Thank you Beta!Star!

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Heero**

It seems seeing Duo had made me worse.

I spend every moment of every day thinking about him, what he's doing, where he is, who he's kissing. It makes me angry, that someone else is tasting his mouth, someone else is feeling his skin, someone else is undoing his braid, someone else is being smiled at…

I'm going to go crazy thinking like this, if I haven't already. I picked up my gun and placed it to my temple. Maybe he'll forgive me if I'm dead.

I slowly squeezed the trigger…

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Hahahahaha, cliffhanger! This story… multiple ficlets… drabbles… whatever the hell this is classified as, is going to be over soon. Maybe in… three more installments. I don't really think I can call them chapters. 


	7. Duo

**Disclaimer- I don't own GW. **

A/N- I don't know why I keep posting this up, no one reads it except for my sis and my bets… I'm seriously considering just ending it.

**Did you know, there is a creature on this earth, it's called a Beta… Well, they are the most precious things Writers (a blooming species) can ever hope you acquire. Well, I decided I would take this time to brag about how I have one… Heehee. I have nicknamed it Beta!Star (real name: xWhiteXStaRx), and I love her much! Thank you for staying by my side!

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Duo**

I stared up at the apartment building. This was where Heero lived? Yuck… I opened the front door and started up the stairs. I really wasn't going to trust the stairs.

I'm still in shock about how easy it was to find him. Guess my hacker skills from college are still as good as ever.

Third floor.

Fifth floor.

Seventh floor.

I was gasping slightly by the time I got to the eighth floor. Not from climbing the stairs, but from the thought I'd actually see Heero again… Oh my god…

Ninth floor. Heero's floor.

Apartment Nine-A1.

Apartment Nine-A2.

Nine-B1.

Nine-B2. By now I was holding a hand against my heart and seriously thinking about turning and running the hell outta there. I didn't though.

Nine-C1.

Apartment. Nine-C2. Heero's apartment.

I stood in front of it, panting like I'd run the Triple Crown1. I raised my shaking hand to the door and knocked. Just then, a loud gunshot rang from the apartment. I jerked back and stared stupidly at the door for a few seconds. Then I started to yell and grab at the doorknob. It turned with no resistance, and I ran into the apartment, only to find Heero…

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**Hahaha, another cliffy! Yes, I am evil.**

**1- The Triple Crown is a horse race, well, three of them. The Kentucky Derby, the Belmont Stakes and the Preakness Stakes. Only eleven horses have ever won all three, which take place in the course of five weeks. Forty-three horses have won two, but not the last. Funny Cide was the latest in near misses, winning the Derby and the Preakness, but not the Belmont. That was in 2003. The newest winner of the whole thing was Affirmed, who won in 1978.**

**Numbers and all come from http / www. horse-races . net / library /  
tcrown-info . htm.**

**Can you tell I'm a bit of a racing freak?**


	8. Heero

**Disclaimer- I don't own GW. **

**A/N-Guess what? This it the last chapter of the story. Yep, it is. If you want an epilouge, you better review! Lots!**

_**Thanks always to Beta!Star.**_

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Heero **

I have a strong suspicion that for some reason, God doesn't want to put me out of my misery. The old bastard.

I pulled that trigger, only to have it jerk out of my hand when I jumped at the knock on the door. I stared at the door, then at the hole in the wall next to my head where the bullet had lodged itself.

Suddenly, someone yelled from outside the door and yanked it open. I forgot to lock it earlier.

And I found myself staring at Duo.

His eyes widen at the sight of me, then flickered to the gun in my hand. He looked back at me, then raced over and snatched the gun away from me.

"What the hell are you doing!"

"What does it look like?"

"Like you're trying to fucking kill yourself!"

"Then that's what I'm doing."

Duo grabbed the front of my shirt and shook me. "What the hell are you  
doing that for!"

I watched his face flush with anger. "Because I really don't have a reason to go on living. Well, I could find one; I just don't feel like it." I reached a shaking hand to him and traced his cheekbone. "Are you really here, or did I actually shoot myself and I'm dead?"

Duo softened slightly. He could never stay mad at me. "No Heero, I'm real. I'm here." He grabbed my hand. I expected him to fling it away from him, but he didn't. He kissed it.

"Why're you forgiving me?"

Because I knew that was exactly what he was doing.

"Because I love you. I forgave you a long time ago."

"I haven't forgiven myself. What I did to you Duo…"

Duo knelt down next to me and pulled me into his arms. "Just forget it Heero. We'll start clean."

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**Yay! Togetherness! I think it was terribly anti-climatic, but I really couldn't make my Hee-chan and my Duo suffer any longer! 'Member, reviews get you epilouge!**


	9. Together

**Disclaimer- I do not own GW. **

A/N- Okay, so here's the epilogue, read and review.

**_Thanks always to Beta!Star._

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Together  
  
Duo and Heero lay together in their new bed, in their new house. They'd "christened" it not long ago… and multiple times before…**

"Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"You still forgive me?"

"Always. For anything?"

"For breaking your heart?"

"You were young. We were young. It can be forgiven."

"I still haven't forgiven myself yet."

"I know that too. But I know you will, in time."

"I wonder, Duo, do you think there's a God?"

"Of course."

"Do you think he made everything happen this way?"

"Yeah."

"… Guess maybe he isn't that bad of a bastard after all."

"What!"

"Umm, nothing."

Heero clutched Duo to him, and Duo let him. He wasn't used to this Heero, this Heero who clutched and was nervous. He didn't like him that much either. He preferred the "take-charge-everything-can-be-manipulated" Heero. But he understood, it'd take a while.

"Hey, Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"I got rid of my gun."

Duo answered him with a kiss… and much more.

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So, that's it. A pathetic excuse of an epilogue. I hope you liked this, my first attempt at a "chapter" story. Hopefully my next one will be lots better. Please, review! Constructive criticism is always welcomed, and if you'd like me to personally reply to your review, please tell me! 


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